As I started out on my journey I watched all the places I had already been speed by me on the roadway and said a silent farewell. I found myself playing a number of games to keep my minds occupied. One was Find a Hummer That’s Not Bright Frikkin’ Yellow. I get a point for every yellow one, a negative point for every on that wasn’t yellow. I spotted a white Hummer limo, two black ones, a bright orange one, and too many yellow ones to count. I decided that should I ever get filthy rich I was going to buy a Hummer and give it a make-over. First I’d paint it a vibrant bubblegum pink and then I’d add Hello Kitty decals and breast cancer awareness bumper stickers everywhere, maybe with a few fistfuls of glitter to top it all off. It’s a work in progress… Eventually I’d dare someone to drive it.
Another one of my games might seem a bit… morbid… but I decided to do this before I left. I wanted to catalogue, out of curiosity, how much road kill I’d pass. I started to write down the species and how many. So far in my trip I’ve seen one dead horse, though not roadkill, who was aside the road, as well as three squirrels, one possum, two raccoons, three cats, one crow, one bunny, one groundhog, three deer, four unidentified pieces of gut n’ fluff, and two sweaters (in different locations – guess its Spring and everyone is just peeling off their sweaters in the streets and throwing them into the air with glee.)
I drove through New York City, or at least part of it. I was always told it smelled of dirty laundry and piss… and yes, it does smell like dirty laundry, but the part of the Bronx I repeatedly wove in and out of, much to the GPS’ great amusement, smelled more of dead fish than piss. Ghettos are ghettos, depressing as can be. The bridge was rusted and scary and I left without thinking about it too hard. No time to go through the city today.
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