This morning I decided to go out for another adventure and it occurred to me that I have yet to see any caves in New England. I wasn’t even sure if we have any caves but a quick Google search landed me at the Polar Caves in Rumney NH, which is about two hours away. I figured why not? And off I went not having the foggiest idea what to expect.
When I drove up the parking lot was HUGE and pretty empty. I got out of the car, took a quick snap of their glorious wonky polar bears standing above the park’s sign. Oh, this was the kind of roadside kitsch that I live for. Still, the building was very nice, had a HUGE gift shop filled with all sorts of shiny, sparkly, and fluffy things, and the staff there were super sweet. I paid $20 for a ticket and an extra dollar for a little bag of corn to feed the ducks and deer. Who knew a place like this had ducks and deer!
Sure enough as I walk in there’s a line of little aviaries, each housing 2-3 pheasants, and a deer pasture filled with Fallow Deer. Aside them some ducks swam in some murky water. There was a group of Asian tourists already there playing with the deer so I put my corn in my pocket and headed towards the caves, promising myself I’d stop to dole out my treats before leaving.
That’s when things started to get just a smidge strange. Suddenly I found myself overlooking a spiderweb of wooden pathways and stairs climbing up and down in every direction. It was like a real life M C Escher sketch. Total chaos. I had no idea where to go or why. As it turns out it didn’t matter. The vast web in the middle was just some sort of trap for small children. Eventually if you walked to the other side you’d come across the entrance to the “caves.” Mind you, when I thought of the word cave I thought this would be a cavern underground, maybe with a few slimy stalactites and stalagmites. You know… like most cave tours in the US… Instead “cave” in this instance seemed to be a very loose term to describe the various hollows and holes that formed under a giant pile of granite rubble. Some of them had little metal stair cases to get down into and since I am here I might as well go down to see them! That may not have been the brightest idea. I’m 5′ 8″ and maybe 140 or 150 pounds and had a hell of a time not bumping my head and squeezing through. I noticed all the other people here (maybe 10 or 15 in all) were content to watch me be the only foolish one to try. But dammit, I paid my $20, I was going to see it all!
I read online, “bring a jacket because those caves are cold!” Seeing as caves generally are cold I did wear an over shirt, but between the humid heat above ground and the strange physical positions I was putting myself in, I was soon sweating bullets. I mean just soaking wet. Totally drenched. In seconds. Welp, that didn’t go as planned. I used the over shirt to sop up the excess sweat and moved on.
It didn’t take me long to go through the whole park. There’s a few things there that weren’t open yet – a “maple house” (I’d call it a sugar shack) a rock climbing wall, and some precipice you could “gently repel down.” All and all I think this would have been a great place to go if I were seven or so… I don’t honestly suggest anyone my age or childless should go check it out… although that being said I did have a ton of fun feeding the ducks when I got out of the caves. I really miss owning ducks. They’re such funny little creatures. I moved on from them to feed the deer who were basically rabid for corn. WOW. I got covered in soooo much deer drool. And isn’t that what life is all about? I still had fun!
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