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Nine Men’s Misery – Cumberland Rhode Island

I would like to think I know a little bit more about New England history having done all these travels but that’s not to say I am not still routinely surprised or deeply disturbed. Nine Men’s Misery was on of those delightful WTF moments. It was something I had never heard of and neither had my travel companion until he spent one too many hours in Barnes and Noble and came home with yet another book on local oddities. It peeked his interest so we went.

So what is Nine Men’s Misery? And what’s up with the super dramatic title? WELL… it is yet another little gem we don’t teach our school children even though it’s historically significant (serving as the US’s oldest monument to veterans.) Legend says it marks the spot were nine men were skinned alive. So now that I’ve got your interest the story goes thusly:

In the beginning the colonists and local Wampanoag indigenous people got along as good as you could have expected from two completely separate cultures. The first settlers in the area actually got a lot of help surviving from the locals but tensions built over several generations when we just kept bringing over more white people. And taking more land. And trying to convert the “savages.” You know, being the world’s worst fucking neighbors. ANYWAY… Despite all this the colonists actually were on good standing with some of the indigenous peoples still (“praying Indians” who had been converted) and really this was a year-long war in which those indigenous allies and the English were pitted against the larger population that had enough of our shit. A lot of shady and crazy things happened in this year (1675-76) to spurn legends, ghost stories, and an unending trauma to the area. Nine Men’s Misery is just but one.

The story starts when colonialist Captain Michael Pierce brought sixty of his men and thirty “praying Indians” into the area in search of the tribe responsible for burning several Rhode Island towns to the ground as well as attacking Plymouth Massachusetts. They found the guilty party but were led straight into a trap. They were greatly outnumbered and almost everyone was slaughtered – fifty of Pierce’s men and all thirty of the “praying Indians.” Only ten colonialists survived the battle and fled into the swampy woods. Eventually they’d also be tracked down, cornered, ritualistically tortured, and finally killed, leaving only one survivor. It was a complete victory for the natives. The bodies of the nine colonist soldiers were eventually found skinned like deer and chopped up into many pieces – hence the name Nine Men’s Misery.

The monument marks a mass grave where the remains were buried. It was erected by monks who ran a local monastery in the early 1900’s. A plaque was additionally added in the 1927 and the bones of the fallen were eventually returned after being found within the old monastery in the 60’s where they’d been apparently stored after an early archeological dig. WHOOPS. Guess these men can’t get any peace, even in death.

With this all being said these blood soaked grounds are eerily peaceful, maybe because of the paths so tenderly created by the monastery (which is now a beautiful library.) Even so it’s supposed to be haunted with the sounds of screaming and the quick hoofbeats of horses echoing through the hollow. Even a small girl is supposed to be found here – although there’s no real explanation as to why. She may have died at a mill that once stood near the site but there doesn’t appear to be any specific legends around her. The nearby library also suffices as a unearthly home for one of the monks who died so many generations ago.

Now that the history is out of the way I’ll tell you where this monument is and what I thought of it. First you must find the town library, still called the Monastery, and drive around it. On a one way street towards the back of the property you’ll find parking spots near a trail. The trails are obvious but unmarked. There are maps at the library if you ask politely. We however just stumbled blindly until we came to a path diverging off and onto hill that just didn’t look right. Sure enough it led right to Nine Men’s Misery.

The spot where the monument sits is eerily quiet… but it’s also in these gorgeous lush woods and wetlands. So it’s hard to imagine something so horrible happening here. In fact had I not known about it I would have found this whole little nature walk to be quite a pleasant adventure.

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