After leaving the House of Seven Gables we were on our way to one attraction I never made it to during any of my previous visits – the Pirate Museum! And it was everything I expected and could have ever hoped for… the outside of the building was adorned with murals of pirates climbing ropes to the roof, the entrance was a little gift shop with a literal wooden barrel full of plastic pirate hooks at grabbing level for small children. And to makes it all the more beautiful the tours were guided… by teenagers dressed as pirates… which I can only assume joined the work force after their mom was like, “You LOVE pirates! And the costumes are so cute! Look your friends are already here, it’s the perfect job for you! Go on! Get in there!” Someday twenty years from now they’ll look back at their first job and laugh. Or join therapy.
ANYWAY. Pirates are not something I know a lot about… it seems with all my knowledge of New England I have always been lacking when it comes to coastal history which includes everything from sea monsters, to whaling expeditions, and of course privateers and pirates. What’s the difference? Privateers are given free license to loot enemy ships by the government during times of war. Pirates on the other hand are usually the same people before and after the war being hunted down like dogs by the same government which was turning a blind eye before. I find the distinction… petty. But it must mean something to someone because it’s the first thing we learn about pirates every time.
The pirate museum allows flash photography – none of which I took because it was super dark and that would have not given the right idea of what it was actually like. In the shadows were wax figurines leering at the people walking by. Each dressed as a different pirate in a different situation. We were told about each in a long monotone speech given by our guide who spoke so rapidly I am not sure he remembered to breathe. But that’s OK. I can understand given the circumstance.
I was surprised to learn that the last pirate executed in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts was a woman. Who knew?! And I can’t say I wasn’t at least a little disturbed when our tour guide uttered, “And this guy over here was a total psychopath. He liked to tie his enemies hands together and light them on fire. He liked watching the skin melt off their bones.” EWE. That was a little more torture that I was really ready for…. especially from a place that looked like it might burst out into a Happy Birthday song at any minute.
The rest of the rooms showed scenes of pirates on ships, in caves, drinking rum and staging mutinies, all surrounded by many many pirate flags. Apparently there were hundreds. And what can we expect from such a rebellious group? WE’LL DESIGN OUR OWN FLAG THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
I had a lot of fun here. Way more than I thought I would. If you come to Salem for the witches you totally have to also give some love to the pirates…
