I really hadn’t intended to go to any more conventions but when I brought this one up to my usual travel companion he thought it’d be a fun vacation so off we went to the boonies of Maine to see what was up in the big weird world of cryptozoology.
We got the two-day VIP tickets – because if you’re going to make a vacation of it you might as well! We showed up a little early and had to kill some time wandering for a bit while the hosts tried to figure out how to admit people. Some of the vendors were already set up so we tried walking around and looking at their goods first. There was a lovely wire artist at the door with all sorts of really cool pieces. I asked her how long it took to make them and she said about two days on the smaller ones. I wanted to give her encouragement but I knew whatever she was asking for these was too rich for my blood and instead of being insulting I never asked what they were going for. She was the only vendor that I think made no sales because of this and I felt that. I’ve been that table that’s misfitted for the venue and has goods too fine for whatever is going on. It sucks.
Next to her we found a crochet artist with all sorts of cryptid plushies and dear god were they adorable. Ended up with a tiny mothman keychain from this vendor. I figured those would go like hotcakes. Another artist had the center of the room and was doing caricatures – presumably of patrons with their favorite cryptid. The examples he had on display were rather cute, he even included one with a lot of muppets which had Nigel from Farscape hidden on there as well. I had to laugh. The rest of the room contained A LOT of the more usual items – stickers, car decals, DVDs of bigfoot documentaries, and sooo many books. My thing is to be supportive of local authors so I held myself together to say I’d be back tomorrow for some books and whew, did I ever. Came back with a haul! On all sorts of cool topics, some on hauntings and new places to go others on cryptids and weird happenings.
However the most fun was probably the reptile rescue who was letting people pet their animal ambassadors. They had a few decently big snakes, still growing for sure, a grumpy tortoise (who I could really empathize with) a skink, and a tegu. We took turns holding them all. The snakes were CRUISING, the skink was so relaxed he was limp as a ragdoll which kinda freaked me out a little bit, and the tegu, oh my god the tegu… I wanted to steal. She just burrowed into my sweater giving me a huge bear hug and FELL ASLEEP on me. God damn I love giant cuddly lizards. I’ve wanted one since I was a teenager but you know… their enclosure requirements must be enormous! This one was already maybe 1/3rd to half the size she’d be some day and that was plenty big enough! Plus the laws keep changing from state to state. Honestly, I was a bit surprised to see tegus here because of that.
After passing my lizard back to the next person we went on our way. There’d be a pizza dinner with a celebrity in the field at every table. We ended up with a comic book writer. I wish I remembered his name but I guess he did a bunch of Scooby Doos and some other neat things. He seemed very pleasant as did the couple who sat across from us who had come up here all the way from Pennsylvania! They had matching septum piercings which I thought was unique and also bought one of the mothman plushies. So we bonded on that as we ate our pizza. They had ordered 57 boxes and 32 liters of soda. I was accused of counting them but no, I was just eavesdropping when I came across this factoid.
The big event however was a viewing of Big Fur which was a documentary about the creation of the hyper realistic bigfoot sitting in the corner. This is what set the gears off in my head. I had NO IDEA there was a whole subset of taxidermists who are now doing mock mounts of extinct or otherwise undocumented animals like this bigfoot but with real fur from other animals. This particular bigfoot was made with the hair from highland cattle and the artist who created him also did a mock panda bear that looked SO REAL. Like I would think it absolutely was a panda if I didn’t know better. The reason this was inspiring to me is because I have been telling myself for years that I have enough hobbies and I do not need to get into taxidermy and be one of those weirdos lugging off dead raccoons found on the highway…. but the idea of making completely different animals out of those pelts?! You could make a goddamn unicorn! Or a snallygaster…
The rest of the audience seemed more emotionally invested in the surprise romantic aspect of the film which involved a rather messy love… square… Triangle was not the right option. Honestly, I felt that was it’s own thing and felt weird to be included but you know.. you do you. The director talked about it a little bit and we had fun with it.
The next day there was more vendors and a ton of lectures that ranged from the silly to the serious. I had no idea that loggers were… off their nuts. The amount of bizarre cryptids in logger lore is insane. Now I had loggers in my family back in the day and I feel like a lot of these are drunken big fish kinda stories but still – what the hell were these men on?! And the names of these things! I wish I could remmeber them – they would have put Dr Suess to shame.
Another lecture told us all about cougar sightings in Somerset county and how someone in Connecticut had run one over that had wandered here from thousands of miles away. I have heard stories of big cats my entire life and just thought it was a fact cougars lived here. Apparently not. The state of Maine does not recognize a current breeding population and they are therefore cryptids. The department of wildlife states cougars were functionally extinct from hunting in Maine in the late 1800’s with the last being shot in the 1930’s.
By the time the HP Lovecraft guy came up, who I’d seen before, the heat in the room and my lack of sleep previous was conspiring to land me in a coma. I may have nodded off for most of that one despite trying not to — to the point of going cross eyed.
Luckily there was an intermission where we could go out and eat at a taco truck parked outside. I tried their veggie tacos and they were the bomb. And the people were so sweet. I got a lot of compliments on my hair, pants, and purse, and was tracked down twice to see if I was the owner of the sunglasses left were I was sitting on the grass – but the sunglasses were there before me.
As we went back in we were treated to another lecture from the guy hosting the event who was telling us the cryptozoology museum was moving from its current spot to a new much larger home in Bangor and that this was also the last convention to be held in Portland for the same reason.
One of the last speakers was my favorite, it was the woman who runs a blog called Cryptozoology Facts. She seemed delightfully neaurospicy and informed everyone she was nervous but she did a good job telling us about all the bonkers cryptids she had come across and the fact her favorites were all seen only once and included a winged clam. I had to agree with her the sheer weirdness of that one would make it a favorite for me too. We’d talk to her a little bit afterwards as she offered a gift to anyone who liked and reposted her FaceBook post on the event. It was a bigfoot magnet which will now be going on my fridge…
Anyway, we had an awesome time – learned a ton about local folklore and mythology, got to speculate on what’s actually out there, and met some pretty nifty people. All and all it was a great time to be had by all and I came home with sooo many books it’s a bit ridiculous but at least they’re all signed!
